Vegetarians 101

"No, I can't have meat. I'm a vegetarian." she says. This is a way of life I will never understand. Animals were put here to be killed, placed in an oven, and maliciously shoved into our mouths to satisfy hunger. Meanwhile, we have vegetarians and vegans who believe this wrong. "Why are you a vegetarian?" I ask her. "I believe that killing animals is wrong. They wouldn't kill us if they could think! I am not strong enough to know that I am eating an animal when I have a burger." "You know, you would be strong if you had protein. You know where protein comes from, right? What is a large, natural source of protein?" "Shut up..." she says with a chuckle. The waitress appears through the crowded restaurant. "Alright, what can I get you guys. Our special tonight is the veggie burger. It is only 3 dollars." "Why is your special a veggie burger? Why not like a soup or something? Everybody wants meat, right?" Everybody in the restaurant goes silent immediately. On the other side of the restaurant I hear a glass fall. Every eye in the place is fixated on me. "It's national Vegetarian Day..." the waitress says quietly. "The special is the only item we've sold today. "I'll have the special." she says. "Not going to happen. I will have the All-American Steak with extra bacon. I mean literally. Throw on all the bacon you have, I don't mind the price. Also, We will have the mini burgers with bacon on the side as our appetizer. Thanks very much." I say. I sure showed those vegetarian turd faces. I ate all the meat. I left a tip of some table salt and a nickel. #fightthevegetarians #leadtheway #meatrules #eataburgertoday #revolution #teammike