Jokes For You 101

Why, hello fellow citizens!  I do indeed apologize for not writing for you in over a month.  I have been busy.  Anywho, over that time, I have heard a few jokes you may want to hear, or, in this case, read...  Wow, I hadn't thought of that...  So, I will arrange this into a two sections- Blonde jokes and dumb laws(the states from which they derive will be included.) If you know me, tell me if you wnat more of these kinds of blog posts!  If not, tell me what you want more of! Whether it be jokes, quotes, ect...



                                                               BLONDE JOKES

Q. How do you get a one-armed blonde out of a tree?
A. Wave to her.

Q. How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. "What's a lightbulb??"

Q. Why do blondes hate M&Ms?
A. They take too long to peel.

Once upon a time, a blonde wanted to sell her car.  She made several failing attempt.  Nobody wanted to buy it because it had 340,000 miles on it and was bound to die soon.  In a bar, she described her problem to a brunette bartender.  The brunette explained how she knew a guy who could turn back the counter on her car to make it say only 40,000 miles to make it sell faster, though it'd be illegal.  The blonde agreed and visited the man and he turned the mile counter back to 40,000 miles. 
           "So, did you sell the car?" the brunette asked.  "Why would I sell it if it only has 40,000 miles on it!?!?"


                                                            DUMB LAWS

California:
 

1. Nobody is allowed to ride bikes in a swimming pool.
2. Nobody can carry a lunchbag down any streets between 11 AM and 1PM.
3. Anybody classified as "ugly" cannot walk along any street.


Arizona:

1. Any person caught stealing a bar of soap must clean themselves with it in public with just the soap and no water to help speed up the process.
2. It is illegal to refuse a glass of water.
3. Donkeys cannot sleep in any bathtubs.

New York:

1. It is illegal to wear slippers after 10 PM.
2. The penalty for jumping off a building is death. (NO JOKE!)
3.  It is actually illegal to talk to anyone on an elevator.
4. Nobody is allowed to throw a ball at someone's head for fun.
5. It is illegal to walk around with an ice cream cone in your pocket on Sundays.

(New York is a popular state for my blog... THIS IS FOR YOU GUYS!)

6. During a concert, it is illegal to walk backwards while eating peanuts.
7. Nobody is allowed to slurp soup.
8. A man cannot be seen wearing a jacket and pants that do not match(this only applies to citizens in Carmel, NY...)


Well, thanks guys! Have a good day; week; month; whatever! Hope you enjoyed! Stay classy, San Diego!


                                                        

Quotes 101

-"No, I did not fall. The floor looked liked it needed a hug."

-"I feel like everybody lies, but does it really matter since nobody listens..."

-"It doesn;t matter whether you win or you lose... What really matters is whether I win or lose."

-"I want to ask God for a bike, but he doesn't work that way... so I shall steal a bike and pray for forgiveness!" (I am just kidding. I have a bike. I just thought that'd be a funny thing to write.)

-"Yes, I do intend to live forever. So far, so good..."

-"If at first you don"t succeed, you must terminate all evidence that you tried!"

-"I did my homework! I just-I forgot to write it down..."

-"Consciousness is just that boring time in between naps."

              Thanks guys! Yes, yes, I know- this blog post was indeed on the shorter, smaller, size but I am working on a funny post that has some length to it that shall be coming soon. I am running out of quotes for now, so I am going to switch to other funny stuff until I can think of more quotes. And that's the way it is. Stay classy, San Diego.

Mike Thoughts 101

          A few things you should know about me before I begin this blog, I decided to note a few things about myself. I am Mike. I have many thoughts that some people may call, 'funny', or 'ridiculous'. Many people ask me, 'Why?' with a dissaproving headshake. I ask, 'Why not?'.  I make up quotes for myself and for others, such as, "Housework cannot kill you, but why take the the chance?" or, "Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes". 
          I may not always create quotes for this blogesphere, I will most likely do many things with this blog.  I will try to write  a new post every week. If that is too much, I will definitely post something at least every month. Thanks guys and my first real blog will be coming soon.  Stay classy, San Diego.