NHL 2001

       I think we can agree that NHL 2001 holds the position of best video game ever made.  With the horrifying graphics and the most unrealistic goals, NHL 2001 continues to amuse all, even 13 years later. 
        As in all of the NHL video games, a fighting feature has been incorporated.  When two players disagree over who hit whom or what happened in the previous play, the two hockey athletes begin to thoughtlessly whale on each other until the other guy hits the floor.  The winner of the fight just stands there.  Literally.    

                                                    NOT AN ACTUAL NHL 2001 FIGHT

       Along with the unrealistic fighting comes a supernatural speed.  One Player has the ability to use a speed boost.  Yes, at first this sounds pretty normal.  The player can go fast for a minute or two.  No.  This means a player can move around like the little kid from the Incredibles for an unlimited amount of time.  This basically means that you cannot comprehend what is occurring on your television screen without complete focus. 

                                              ALSO NOT ACTUAL NHL 2001 PLAYER

       You may start to think now about how this game holds such a high reputation with all these "flaws".  You see, these "flaws" are not actually flaws.  These characteristics set apart NHL 2001 from NHL 2014.  Sports video games nowadays attempt to enhance the graphics as much as possible and basically make the game as real as possible.  I think I can stand for the whole human race when I say, "YAWN!!!!".  These characteristics make the game awesome.  Finally, one holds the opportunity to score ridiculous goals and skate at ridiculous speeds that EA sports is trying to demolish.  For example, in 2001, the fighting in the NHL video games was 3rd person.  Yes, this looked absolutely ridiculous and exciting.  In the new games, the fighting is 1st person.  This is to make everything more realistic.  EA sports wants all their players to have a feel for what being on the ice is really like.  I DON'T GIVE HALF A NUMBER TWO PENCIL ABOUT WHAT BEING ON THE ICE IS REALLY LIKE.  ALL I WANT TO DO IS TRAVEL AT IMPOSSIBLE SPEEDS AND KNOCK OPPOSING PLAYERS DOWN FOR MY ENJOYMENT.
                                         THIS IS HOW I FEEL ABOUT NEW NHL GAMES
    

 

 

ALSO HOW I FEEL ABOUT NEW NHL GAMES

 

 

 

 

This is what I want to do to new NHL games

 

 

 

 

Thanks for reading guys!  Happy Saint Paddy's Week!

 

 

 

Dear Modern Day Technology

    I think we can agree that you,  modern day technology, are an enormous pile of hippo feces.  Every day whenever anything happens, you assist a child shunning the people in their presence by watching strangers twerk on Vine or something.  Any and every conversation these days is made up of two major components: the person trying to make conversation and the person idly scrolling through their news feed.  The person on their phone might as well just say this.                         


     I will never see the purpose in this.  As a child, when I wasn't killing henchman in GoldenEye or watching SpongeBob, I was outside playing games.  I was acting like a child.  At times, I may have been too childish.

   

     Children these days occasionally go outside.  Most times, they locate a shady area so as not to have glares on their $1,000 IPads.  Why, World?  Why must we ignore our surroundings to feel comforted.  You are the equivalent of cans being dragged along as a "Just Married" car drives by.  At first, all is happy until that terrible scraping sound occurs.  You know what I think of you, technology?